March 26th, 2017

Aelan2

Jinhen khoon khel acha lagta hai
Jo nafraton ke payambar baney baithey hain
Woh jo apni barf posh chatton taley
Mil baith kar likhtey hain kahaniyan
Hamari khoon alood deewaron kee
Hamarey jismon ke tukron kee
Hamari Girti huwi chatton kee,
Aur dehaktey Jhulastey Gharon kee.

Woh jo yeh faisaley karney lagey hain
Ke kis ko haq hai saans leney ka
Aur kis ka ghar laut jana mumkin nahin
Woh jo yeh samajhtey hain
Keh meelon duur baith kar
Samadaron paar baith kar,
Woh hamarey jismon ke lotharon ke,
Hamarey hathon ke,
Hamarey pairon ke,
Hamarey khwabon ke,
Aur…
Hamari Aahon ke
Anbaar laga saktey hain
Woh jo hamari sanson ke ukharne kee dhun banatey hain
Woh jo hamara sheeraza bikharne kee lae sunatey hain
Woh jo insaaniyyat ke bun ke alambardar,
Insanon ko ghun lagatey hain
Woh jaan len…
Keh Aaaj…
Bohat huwa!

Aaj hum bebasi ka libada utarey detey hain,
Aaj hum bekasi ka dhara morey detey hain,
Woh jaan len,
Keh aaj hum apni sarhadon kee,
Khud hifazat karney ka azm uthatey hain.
Apni sanson ko khud dao pe lagatey hain.
Woh jaan len,
Keh aaj hum un ki taraf aatey hain.

Phir roo-e-zameen par,
Woh apna haami-o-nasir dhoond len,
Jis ghaar main chahen ja chuppen,
Ya aasmanon tuk main makaan karen,
Hum har boond ka hisaab chukain ge,
Har aansoo ka darya banayen ge,
Lehron main samandar chupain ge.
Hum badalon se garaj churayen ge,
Allah kee zameen ko tung kartey jayen ge.
Hum har saans lutayen ge,
Magar tum ko kaifar-e-kirdaar tuk layen ge.

Yeh Va’ada raha,
Yeh qasam rahee,
yahee aaj hamara
Aelan-e-jung raha.

Tum dabak jao,
Ya dehak jao,
Jhulas jao,
Ya Dehal jao.
Laakh tum taweelen karo,
Hazaar Qahar lao!
Chaho…
To khud apne haathon zehar khao!

Ab humen rukna yaad nahin,
Tum raham ke haqdar nahin,
Aur darguzar ke ab hum rawadar nahin,
Ab waqt hamara hai,
Dhaar hamari, aur Sar tumhara hai

Yeh Va’ada raha,
Yeh qasam rahee,
Yahee Aelan-e-jung hamara hai.

Yeh Galliyan Aur Hain13

Yeh galliyan aur hain,

Yaan yaas ka guzar nahin.

Aah ka paas nahin,

Ashkon ko uzar nahin.

Yaas ummeed kee humjoli,

Kiran ka partao,

Aahon kee boli.

Aur ummeed…

Jaise musafir kee jholi,

Phailata hai isey,

Manzil ka khwahan.

Mohabbaton ke qafile,

Jazbaat kee toli.

Har aik musafir…

Aur har aik kee jholi.

Magar tu…

Tu ke manzil ke napaid wujood ka,

Khud munh bolta suboot hai,

Terey paas jholi hai, na rasta hai,

Na rakht-e-safar na sung-e-meel hai,

Aur na hee koi shajr-e-sayadaar hai.

Terey paas wohi teri manoos galliyan,

Aur tujh ko yeh ma’loom bhi hai,

Ke yeh galliyan aur hain,

Yaan ummeed na sahi,

Magar yaas ka guzar bhi nahin.

FB and barjasta tukbandi.0

One of the blessings of the world wide web is facebook. It has put me in touch with countless such people whom I would otherwise quite likely never have seen again. Fine! I will strike the ‘countless’ – I know one can always go and count one’s contacts.

My cousin Raheel is one amongst those people. We lost contact years ago when he was busy conquering the hearts and minds of important people in Islamabad, and I had come here to the UAE hoping to make a fortune in dirhams – a dream I have much given up now. Raheel and I have always been more friends than cousins, so much so that years ago when the family battleground presented a picture of what most family battlegrounds present pictures of – the senile, senseless and yet sombre family feuds, we promised each other that should our two sets of parents decide to raise battle cries and go charging at each other to revive a bit of sibling rivalry moments from their childhood, we would ensure that we continued to be friends even if our allegiance to our respective families dictated that we no longer call each other family. Thankfully, while our families have often hovered dangerously close to altercations threatening to become full blown wars, they have always managed to scale back hostilities just in time to attend a wedding or a funeral together. It is important to be seen together or not seen together at these two functions during family feuds – it lets everyone know where the two warring/not warring factions stand vis-a-vis their reported-through-grapevine differences. Unfortunately for us though life dragged us to two different continents and we were never able to benefit from our families not feuding. Until facebook came along though.

Now our families might not be feuding, but our friendship is peculiar in that all we ever have are altercations. One of the recent ones we had was interesting enough for me to want to share it with you.

I had updated my FB status as “waits”. It is a perfectly innocent and vague update. It let me state my hope and longing a little without disclosing anything of substance. Except, I had not factored in Raheel.  Raheel stepped in and had in time turned the whole status update on its head. Being blessed with the kind of friends I am, it was only to be understood that matters would get out of hand, and I would have to step in myself and delete the update and the accompanying 45 comments to restore sanity. After which I made it clear though my status update that no further status updates barring the current one would be coming along for sometime. Except, I could not resist, and put up another update in under 12 hours. After which the following exchange took place:

Raheel: Ek kahani, Abdul Hameed Addum ke zubaani:

Aap (at 0000 hrs):
“Shayad meiN Addum ub na kharabaat meiN aaooN
Ub baada-ghussaroN say meirra zikkr na karna”

Hum (between 0000 hrs and 1330 hrs):
“Tehqeeq ho tou rooH-e-do-aalam tarrap uthay
Itna teirray baghair parayshaaN raha hooN meiN”

Aap (at 1330 hrs):
“DostooN kay naam yaad aanay lagay
Talkh-o-sheerieN jaam yaad aanay lagay
Khoub-soorat tohmatein choubhnay lageiN
Dill-nasheem ilzaam yaad aanay laggay”

Shukkar hey kay aap mehfil mein waapis tou aaye! Hum tou samjhay thay kay aap Shirri Raam Chandar Je kee oor 13 barras kay bunn-baas per nikkal gaye hein. Shukkar Khuda ka, aap Hanooman Jee kay bhaghat niklay aur Tarzan kay doost Munkoo kee tarrah turrant waapis aan lapkay. :-) :-) :-)

Knicq: Khoobsoorat tomhatein and dil nasheen ilzaam indeed!

Aik maulvi kee deewar par shirkiya kalimat raqam karne se ehtiraz baratiye go iz raah-e-tafannun hee sahee. Shukriya. Main sirf Allah ka bandah hoon. :)

Raheel: Yeh “Maulvi Kee Deewaar” bhee barra khoob kaha aap nay. Tou arz kiya he:

“Maulvi Kee Deewaar”

Kyon iss per chHapti rehti hey ye toHmattoN kee bharmaar
Ye maulvi kee deewar hey loogo, maulvi kee deewar

Ye “uss galee” ka daakia hey, ye banda barRa fraadia hey
Na karna koi aitbaar oo loogo, na karna koi aitbaar
Ye maulvi kee deewar hey loogo, maulvi kee deewar

Ye jitna maal bhee aaya hey, sub chooroN say he churraya hey
ChadDi-banain say lungi-dhoHti au rub kurta-shalwaar
Ye maulvi kee deewar hey loogo, maulvi kee deewar

Kuch qabbaz kee khubrain, chund hikmat kay ishtihaar
Ye Persoon ka akhbaar hey bhai persoon ka akhbaar
Ye maulvi kee deewar hey loogo, maulvi kee deewar

Yaad rakhiye – Kalaam mein wazzan ho na hoo, dalleel yaqeenun wazi hey ;-)

Knicq:

“Raheel kee daleel.”

Wazn main feel hai,
Kaat main keel hai,
Fitratan zaleel hai,
Ye nai ik daleel hai,
- Baani is ka Raheel hai,
- Yeh daleel-e-Raheel hai.

Mantaq se choor hai,
Mizaah bharpoor hai,
Sharafat se door hai,
Sarasar futoor hai,
- Baani is ka Raheel hai,
- Yeh daleel-e-Raheel hai.

Tohmat ka bazaar hai,
Haqaiq se bezaar hai,
Maqsad sirf aazaar hai,
Ba’es e nang o aar hai.
- Baani is ka Raheel hai.
- Yeh Daleel-e-Raheel hai.

Kehne ko aur bhi hai kuch,
Abhi zer-e-ghaur bhi hai kuch,
Khayal ka daur bhi hai kuch,
per bhaijna filfaur bhi hai kuch.
- Baani is ka Raheel hai
- Yeh Daleel-e-Raheel hai.

Raheel ibn-e-wakeel hai,
Khoon main iske daleel hai,
Aankh pe is kee neel hai,
Yeh padash-e-daleel hai,
- Baani is ka Raheel hai
- Yeh Daleel-e-Raheel hai.

This is too much fun. :)

Raheel:

Tum itna jo muskara rahay ho
Kiss marraz ko apnay chupa rahay ho?

Ho gee tumheiN jo bhe ho gee “khurrak”
Meirri taaNg per kyoN khuja rahay ho?

Pehlay bachoN kee maaN ne jhaara hey aur
Unn kay maamoN say ub maar kha rahay ho

Bulla ker maseetee meiN mullooN ko subb
Pechay say kyon unn kay ghar jaa rahay ho?

I know this is silly; just a bunch of badly written rhyming garbage – out of meter and out of order. But it’s fun.

Knicq:

Seriously, I expected better than this from you Raheel.

It was only the second sh’er which was enjoyable.

Khissiyane ho kya keh khamba nochte ho?
Sar khujatey ho kyun, tum kia sochte ho?

Fikr-e-sukhan main abhi darak aur chahiye,
Baghair matlab ke tum qafiya dabochte ho?

Kaha tumhara hee hai ya anwar masood ka,
Kis haq se akhir dosron ka kalam “poach-tey” ho?

Maza to jub hai, keh do harf jor bhi lao tum,
Aur mizah kee hudood ko bhi pohonchte ho.

Hah! That felt good.

Raheel:

LOL! Acha Sahab Aissa hee sahi:

“Muzzir hey teisha-e-khoonein liye huay koi shakhss
Kay goor-kan ko bhee ubb koh-kan kaha jaye”

Knicq:

“Gorkan bhi gar kohkan kehlai to kia bura hai
Jo baharkaif chooha nikal lai to kia bura hai.”

And that was that. We stopped after this for fear I might be hauled away by the Halqa-e-arbab-e-zauq for public flogging or some such punishment.

Lafz Puraney.6

Fasana-e-dard raqam karne baitha tha,

Nae zakham pe,

Marham rakhne baitha tha,

Kitni hee sa’aten beet gaeen,

Main jahan baitha tha,

Waheen baitha tha.

Pehrun qalam thamey haath main,

Korey kaaghaz pe nazren jamai baitha tha,

Lafz kai the’,

Jo nauk pe thartharatey rahey,

Kehalwane ko taRapte rahey,

Likhe jaaney ko kehelwatey rahey.

Magar ehsaas ke tarazoo main,

Aik bhi to poora nahin utarta tha.

Lafz kai the’,

Magar lafz puraney the’ sab,

Purane’ marhamun se bhi,

Kabhi ilaaj-e-zakhm-e-nau hota hai?

Jub chot nai lagti hai,

Ilaaj bhi az-sir-e-nau hota hai.

Tees nai uth’ta hai,

To ehsaas naya hota hai,

Har ehsaas ke saath,

Aansoo nae rawaan hotey hain,

Yunhi karb khel hota hai.

Yunhi karb khel hota tha,

Yunhi pehrun guzar jaatey the’,

Phir qalam hota tha,

Aur korey kaaghaz ke daaman main,

Kahin koi aansoo abadi neend sota tha!

Nuzool-e-Mazameen ke lisani awamil kee darwinian tareekh.9

Arsa beet gaya, magar achi tarah yaad hai keh aik waqt tha jab hum par har mazmoon hamari potohari lehje se muzayyan Urdu main naazil huwa karta tha. Ibtidai saalun main to hum isey man-o-unn bayan karne main koi qabahat bhi nahin samajhte the, magar jaise jaise shu’oor aata gaya hum par yeh haqeeqat ashkaraa hoti chali gayee keh aisey mazmoon ko salees urdu ka libada pehnaney se ahbaab main apni baat ko thathun main uRwai janey se bachaya jaa sakta hai. Zindagi apni rawish pe kuch aur aage aayi to hamare faraiz-e-mansabi (yeh mansab barr-e-sagheer najaad talib-e-ilm ka tha – aik aisa mansab jis main faraiz kee kathrat ne huqooq ke liye jagah choRi thee na waqt) main yeh izaafa huwa keh ab salees urdu ke libadey par aik salees-tar libada angrezi ka bhi chaRhana paRta tha; yeh is liye keh arbaab-e-ikhtiyaar ka israar tha keh mad’aa bayan karne ke liye faqat zubaan-e-farang ka sahara liya jaye. Yeh to ghaneemat jaaniye keh arbaab-e-ikhtiyaar ki aur hamari ijtimai la-ilmi ke sabab yeh haqeeqat raaz hee rahee keh zubaan-hai-farang ke zumre main angrezi ke ilawa bhi kai zubaanen shaamil hain, wagarna kia ba’eed tha keh har mazmoon aik alehda firangi zubaan main paRhaya aur na samjhaya jaata.

Qayaas ghalib hai keh is se salaana fail honey waley tulaba kee ta’daad main koi khater-khwah kami beshi waqea nahin hoti; azeezo jo mazmoon aik firangi zubaan main samajh nahin aata tha, woh kisi aur firangi zubaan main bhi utna hi na samajh aata. Albatta is se yeh faida zuroor hota keh hamare tulaba sirf angrezi pe sitam dhaane ke b’jaey, Europe kee tamam zubanun ko takhta-e-mashq-o-ma’aani banatey, aur jab woh farratey se ghalat faransisi, german, dutch, ya welsh bolte to hukoomat PTV ke zareeye 32 mumaalik main yeh naqqara bajwati phirti keh Pakistan ab sayyahat ke liye intihai mauzoon maqaam hai, aur yahan ke log bhaant bhaant kee boliyun kee ba-muhawra mashq se na-sirf yeh keh ziyada zaheen ho gaye hai, balkeh ziyada aetidaal pasand bhi ho gaye hain.

In buland-o-baang dawun ke thuboot ke taur par qaumi television “sayyahun” ke interview bhi nashar karta jin main safed-faam mehmaan naqaabil-e-fahm zubaan main fur-fur Pakistani qaum kee aetidaal pasandi aur lisaan-parwari ka aetiraaf karta, aur huma shuma ke liye PTV is naqaabil-e-faham zubaan main kahee gayee baat ka nasirf Urdu charba nashar karta, balkeh is main haqeeqat ka rung bharne kee gharz se yeh tarjuma ghalat talaffuz ke saath nashar kiya jaata – keh haqeeqi duniya main log talaffuz ko malhooz-e-khater rakhne ke rawadaar nahin rahey.
Hotey hotey mazmoon-e-nazila main se potohari lehje kee amezish jaati rahee. Humen Darwinian qawaid kabhi samajh nahin aye. Agar…

- zarrafe kee gardun patton tak phonchne ke liye lambi hoti chali gaye thee,

- agar bandur irtiqaa ke manazil tai karte karte insaan aa bana tha,

- aur agar hamara appendix qillat-e-istemaal ke sabab sukaR gaya tha

… to is haqeer bunda-e-pur-taqseer ka zahn-e-na-rasaa yeh uqdahjaat kholne se qaasir hai keh …

- zarrafe kee lambi gardun se apne patton ko bachane ke liye darakht mazkoor ne koi aisa hee laiha-e-amal tarteb kiyun na dia…agar zarrafe kee gurdun lambi ho sakti hai to darakht ke tane` ke mazeed baRhne main kiya awaamil mane’a hain?

- Akhir bundar ko yeh kaise pata chal gaya ke irtiqaa kee manazil insaan tak pohonch kar dum toR deti hain? Falsafa-e-fitrat (Nature) ke baaniyun se koi yeh pooche keh agar nature apni parwarish aap karti hai, aur irtiqaa kee manazil hasb-e-zuroorat mutayyin karti hai to akhir us ke sar main kiya sauda samaya tha jo us ne bandarun ke insaanun main tabdeel ho janey main koi muslihat daikhi thee. Tareekh gawah hai keh nature ko jin masail se insaan ne dochaar kiya hai, duniya ke tamam bundar ta-abad bhi jute rehte to nature ke awamil main aisee be-rabtagi aisee tabahi machaney main aisa kamal paida na kar paate. Agar “Survival of the fittest” ko aik haqeeqat maan liya jaye, to yeh bhi man’na paRey ga keh nature bazaat-e-khud kuch itni fit nahin hai.

- Aur teesre yeh, keh agar qillat-e-istimaal ke sabab appendix chota ho sakta tha, to itna arsa ghair mustamil rehne ke bawajood us ke kal-adam na honey main kia surgeon hazraat kee koi saazish karfarma hai? Agar awamil ka ghatna ya baRhna, hona ya na hona taqaza-hai-fitrat ke sabab hai, aur fitrat umoor ko sahal banane pe mamoor hai, to akhir appendicitis main ma-siwai surgeon hazraat ke au kis ke liye sohoolat ke anaaser kar-farma hain?

Baat phir kahin kee kahin nikal gayee, arz yeh thee keh hum darwinian tarz-e-fikr se kuch aise mar’oob nahin hain, magar mazameen ke nuzool main humen darwinian qawaid kar-farma nazr aatey hain. Aik mazmoon ka pehle potohari-Urdu main naazil hona, phir salees Urdu main is ka tarjuma hona, aur phir salees-tar tarjuma angrezi main hona na-sirf yeh keh aik ghair-fitri hudd tak mushkil amal tha, balkeh waqt ke ziya ke lihaz se aik aisee infiradiyat ka haamil jis kee mutahammil kathrat-e-kaar kee maari hamari zindagi hargiz nahin ho sakti thee; so waqt kee qillat ke paish-e-nazar aur Darwinian qawaid ke ain mutabiq mazameen ne pehle to potohari-Urdu ko mahjoor kiya, aur phir khud hee ko majboor kiya keh woh nuzool hee zubaan-e-farang main farmain.

Sahibo, apne hee alfaaz kabhi kaise kaise zakhm hare` kar detey hain, tareekh gawah hai keh ‘nuzool’ aur ‘farang’ jab bhi aik jumle main ikathe warid huwe hain, kahin na kahin, kisi na kisi ko apne tashakhkhus kee jung laRna paRi hai, so hamare mazameen ke saath bhi yahee huwa – is saari Darwinian geha gahmee main hamare mazameen ne jaise taise naazil honey ka amal to jari rakha magar khud tashakhkhus ke makhmase ka shikaar ho gaye. Tispar almiyah yeh keh kawwe aur hans aur har do kee chaal kee babat mithal ke misdaaq mazameen ko zubaan-e-farang main kama haqqahu zuhoor-pazeer hona to aya nahin, aur Urdu kee pagdandi qillat-e-amad-o-raft ke sabab khudro ghaans phoons ke neechey kahin chup gayee.

Aaj barson ba’ad jo madri zubaan main apne jazbaat-o-khayalaat ko lafzi jaama pehnanae baithey to ehsaas huwa keh teen bohat peechey reh gaya hai, aur tairah hunooz aaya nahin….:(

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