Watts ‘n flashes.
knicq posted in Knicqisms on April 10th, 2007
I have not been able to think of any topics to write about in a long long time. At times like these I seek refuge in the Jalali Baba stories. He must hate me for this blatant exploitation of his eccenticities to keep this blog going , but then he hates me for so many other things that one more reason will scarcely alter the equation much. The equation, I am afraid, is hardly an equation. It probably reads “n reasons to hate = knicq”, where ‘n’ is not a finite number. Knicq on the other hand is mortal, and a physical entity governed by the laws of physics, biology, chemistry, economics, country of residence, Shariah, and those of the unknown; and hence finite in every sense of the word. An equation that pits a finite entity against an infinite value can hardly be called an equation. If at all it is an equation, it is not one that may be called fair, and in being so – unfair that is – it emulates and replicates life itself, proverbially and idiomatically speaking.
I used to be able to string together fragments of a few thoughts and make myself a coherent post. Then, I began to flatter myself. Somewhere along the road, and perhaps thanks to my blog-hopping of days gone by, I came to consider that I was capable of emulating some of the brilliant writing I had come across – writing which is characterized by that ‘flashes’ kind of feel, writing which reads like the public appearance of a glamour star. Have you seen one of those? The peculiar thing about those appearances is not the appearance itself but a hundred cameras flashing at the same time. Few would disagree that a ridiculously dressed guy, or semi-dressed woman stepping out of a car is hardly a mega-event until the cameras go flash, flash, flash!
Some people are able to write like that. Their prose reads like a hundred cameras going flash, flash, flash! I do not know if they are forced to write like that because their thought process runs at a speed much faster their fingers can ever type at, or because they set out to write their peices in little more than headlines. Someone like me, whose writing is more like the dim and boring light of a 40 watt bulb, cannot be blamed for getting very impressed with that flash flash flash kind of writing. Someone like me, whose writing is like the dim and boring light of a 40 watt bulb, should also never attempt to go flash, flash, flash. The trouble with 40 watt bulbs trying to go flash flash flash is that they hardly get to the third flash – more often than not, they go flash, ahem, flush, …er… phat!
Granted, there’s only so much of a hundred cameras going 3F that one can take in a day; there is little chance of getting anything done in the flashing light of cameras – be it a hundred cameras or in multiples of hundred. There is that exhilerating feeling that must come from being exposed to the bright and random flashes of a hundred cameras, but take exhileration too far and you have substance abuse on your hands. On the other hand, the light of a 40 watt bulb is good only to create a spooky effect in a perfectly not-spooky-at-all room; either that or you need the 40 watt light when you have had one red bull too many.
For writing that is easy on the eyes, it must take after the light of the good old 100 watt bulb. Ask any 40 watt bulb, and it will tell you it has tried to upgrade and illuminate its surroundings like the more illuminous 100 watt bulbs – pun not intended, but has sadly failed. So when I found that if I tried the flash, flash, flash writing one time too many, I would go kaput, I tried to upgrade and I attempted to write in that interesting manner which seems to come naturally to people like A, Yazzo, Maranello and Owlie (and so many wonderful other writers) – needless to say the 100 watt post is not coming through.
Knicqland is 40 watts, but knicq could tell you about this one time when writing seemed easy, but telling is not good. See that was knicq trying to go flash, flash, flash and ending up with flaphat!
- which could be a new kind of a hat, but who wears a hat these days?
April 13th, 2007 at 11:53 am
Your post made me smile….I don’t think that would count as some source of energy to Knicqland but still….I had to write it here. You know what it seems like you just copied thoughts from my mind and pasted em on to your blog. I wonder at times how people can come up with so much to write and that too with such skill….makes me wonder where I stand in “blogworld”……maybe in some corner where I don’t even have that 40 watt light bulb. I guess I ain’t even a part of the race….I just stand and watch…..but yes I do agree…..people around here…..can move objects with words…..the way their blogs come alive everytime they write…..irrespective of what they write about….even if its just a line…..they can create magic…..but still my blog is my home cause its who I am…..and thats why I don’t just give up……even if I only have a single candle burning there.
April 13th, 2007 at 4:24 pm
**phlafat**
If the hats fits bhai, wear it! lol
No one in the entire blogosphere operates at full wattage all the time, let alone fires on all cylinders, etc, and all I can say is that you’re in good company, because everyone’s in the same floppy phlafat as you.
April 15th, 2007 at 8:19 am
sir if you are a 40 watt bulb then I would stand in negative watt, speaking of which is it even possible?
April 15th, 2007 at 8:21 am
Hera: I have been accused of mind mapping in the past too, and I have a fleeting suspicion that the accusations are not all that false… especially when it comes to my own mind; but thankfully for everyone the list of my shortcomings includes map reading – which is a ‘simpler’ way of saying that I having read your mind is little more than a complete co-incidence – and bears no resemblance to reality (I always wanted to be able to include that somewhere). Now if only I could find my way to your blog we could determine the wattage in that place… I could let you know for sure though that the 40 watt kind has little company… and the candle kind are too busy illuminating dinners to be blogging… and given the sample you have left up there… it looks like you object-moving with words is not entirely a new concept to you either… thanks for the visit, and do keep coming – that will make the two of us
Oh, and do point me to your blog…
Li’l Baji: The hat does fit, but wifey says I should not be walking around with pillow-covers on my head… not that I have a big head – maybe I do, but not since JB redefined big-head!
You sure you are not putting me on… not takin advantag of the flaphat covering my vision… if I am in good company.. its terribly quiet good company… *Calls out to suroundings: Hello?”
*Hears echo: Hello?”
*sheds tears. Dies*
April 15th, 2007 at 8:31 am
Saadie: Yes, No, and No. i.e. I am a 40 watt bulb, you do not stand in the negative, and its not only because negative wattage is not possible – though it might just be in JBland… but thankfully JBland exists in JB’s big head, and there’s room for only his own ego in there…. now why would he have the negative 40 watt bulb there…. perhaps just so he can decode yours truly… but I am sure it might serve some other purposes too.
Oh and that heartfelt and sad Woolmer Eulogy alone qualifies you to join the 40+ kind. I was heart-broken by his death, and the way he died, but never could articulate it.