Death by Mango
knicq posted in Knicqisms on June 17th, 2006
I was in love once. I was like I have never been since. There’s a yearning I cannot explain to go back to those days of being in love. It was bliss and misery at the same time. Its been years and years, and I have never been so full, yet so incomplete; so brave, yet so afraid; so at peace and so at war at the same time. Why I would want to be like that again is beyond me.
Work has been relentless these past few days. It has been, primarily, the reason I have not updated in the last month or so, this and the fact that I have yet to complete my response to some of the comments on the previous post, and it seems wrong to move on to another post before that chapter is closed. Wrong or right, I am writing today because I feel like writing after ages, and because in the back ground I have this lovely music playing that I discovered at another blog, and music is often a great inspiration. Look at the lines it brough out up there.
Mangoes are here, and this singular arrival makes this time of the year the most gratifying period since this same arrival last year. I have loved mangoes ever since I tasted my first mango. I am not sure if mango is designated as the National fruit of Pakistan, but it seems logical that it should be. I do not know of any other country that produces mangoes. I have seen some mangoish fruit that comes from India, Kenya and Australia, but take it from a mango enthusiast, if it is not from Pakistan, chances are it is not a mango. Fact is, it is not a mango if it is not Pakistani. Doubt me? Walk into your nearest fruit shop, and if you can’t smell mangoes right away, walk right out. Stop at the door, if you must be such a skeptic, and ask the guy why he does not retail Pakistani mangoes. ‘Cuz if he did, you could have smelled them. Watch him then as he offers some non-Pakistani, over priced, over-shone and over-packaged variety as a substitute… buy them too, if you are diabetic. If it isn’t our mango, it poses you no risk. It offers no taste too.
Yeah! I am a mango enthusiast, and a fierce one at that. I look forward to this time of the year all year round, and when it does come around, I throw all caution to the wind, and get down to improving on my record from the previous year. For the past few years, with no parental restraints (Even my parents seemed to subscribe to the fallacious notion that there could be such a thing as too many mangoes; with a few thousand kilometers to separate reprimanding-they from mango-crazy-me there is little chance of them finding out just how many mangoes I think constitute too many - infinite!) or financial constraints to stay my hand, I have only been let down by the limitations imposed on me by my size 39 waist. There is an upside to the proceedings though… it was a size 38.5 last year, and 38 the year before… at half an inch a year, I am sure to have enough space in the next 100 years to actually get close to accomodating as many mangoes as I wish I could.
I am told by some that there is such a thing as a bad or rotten mango; I have yet to come across one. If there is indeed a bad mango out there, it would be well-advised to approach my mangoness, and it will be gulped down along with its cronies in no time. After all, whats worse than wasting a mango? If its a bad mango, it will be diluted by all those good mangoes I intend on adding to my system over the next few weeks. Whats the worst that could happen? Death?
Death by Mango?
Just how many people are fortunate enough to have that ending?
June 17th, 2006 at 9:13 pm
Hey you! I’m glad the music inspired you. One never knows what effect ones actions can have. I uploaded this song earlier today and here we are.
I am a mango enthusiast myself and death by mango sounds good to me lol Infact I had a mango lassie today, overdue.
There is a type of mango that grows in Egypt as well, although its pale yellow and tastes a bit different and is called sukkari. I had it in cairo when I was there, but of course, by far to this day, there are no mangoes like the Pakistani ones. Israel also produces mangoes and a few other countries.
In sweden the Pakistani mangoes are hard to find and extremely expensive, but worth it
June 18th, 2006 at 6:20 pm
Masha Allah knicq bhai, itni lambi chauri post siraf aik phal par? Acha huwa keh aap ne kahin phaloun ka poora tokra nahi khaya tha, warna shayed poora deewan likh daitay
Aur Aamoun ki nationality ka iss main kia qissa? Aap ko aam khanay sai gharz hai, yaa pair ginay sai (ya un ka passport daikhnay sai)? Does it matter whether the mango is an expat or a local or a GCC national, has a resident visa or a visitor one?
Waisey aamoun kai bahut faeday hain, regardless of nationality… and among them, something which ’someone’ just reminded me of, yeh hai keh ziada aam kha kar one can take a day off work, on the pretext of an upset stomach..allowing oneself even more time at home to gobble the mangoes.. so how’s this for a mango-faeda: get a day off work and stock up on those spare fruit… aik teer sai do shikar.. “ya phir aam kai aam, ghutlion kai daam” (or at least, aik upset stomach kai daam)….
There you go…that’s two ‘aam’ walay mahawaray in just one single comment.. who said creativity was dead!
June 18th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
Shaykhspeara: Me thinks Sukkari is a more generic egyptian term, since in UAE we get a variety of Oranges in winters called Sukkari. Its one of the biggest fruit imports from Egypt. Did not know they had Mangoes in thos parts too though!
I have also heard of Mangoes being rare in the Nordics. Down here the Pakistani mangoes are more demarketed than marketed… first they arrive in those wooden crates which are less presentable than the Indian colorful cartons, second they retail at a lower price than the Indian variety. It might have a lot do with the fact that the Indians are a lot more alive to the challenge they face from the Pakistani produce, and the fact that most retailers here are Indians as are most consumers.
It suits us Pakistanis just fine of course because after having tried those over-priced over-packaged shiny albiet tasteless Indian mangoes we have already figured out the fact that our money as well as taste-buds are better off with the Pakistani mangoes. So anytime, you are looking for some good old Chaunsas/Sindharis/Anwar Ratols just let us know, and we will send over those wooden crates….:)
Celtic eh? That explains my immediate adiction to that music…I have tedisouly collected celtic music for years now…
ME Bhai, jab aam muyassar hun to tokrey main kisi aur phal par tawajjuh dena nasirf ye keh kamal himaqat hai, balkeh ain bad tameezi hai.
Bandey kee tab’e'nasaaz ka raaz ifsha karney main aap ne ujlat se kaam liya, wagarna aik mazmoon shikwa-e-shikam kee nazar bhi ho sakta tha… sach hai, jo hota hain mashyat-e-Aezdi se hota hai, aur is mashiyat main muslihat hamesha karfarma rehti hai.
Itni wazahat albatta zuroor chahunga, ke shikum aur is se munsalik tamam alaam-hai-qabeeha kee jo taujeeh aap ne paish kee hai, haqeeqat us se yaksar mukhtalif, balkeh yun kahiyey ke ain bar aks hai… fasl-e-aam main chund roz aamon ka na milna tha jis par hazrat-e-shikam ne ye wawela macha diya hai…wagarna bahmdihi shikam-seri kabhi wajh-e-nasaazi-e-tab’a nahin thehri.
Rahee baat aamon ke des kee to sahab tareekh gawah hai ke Delhi ke aamon ko to khar-hai-Delhi ne bhi munh lagane se inkaar kar diya tha..ab chacha ghalib apni khiffat mitane ko jo chahey farmaya karen…waise bhi qayaas ghalib hai keh qayaas-e-ghalib kasrat-e-udhaar aur kasrat-e-mainoshi ke sabab maflooj ho chuka tha…
Aap kee muhavrey par qudrat bandey ne pehle bhi mulahiza kee thee, aur aik baar phir aap ne Urdu se apni maalikana wabastagi ke sikka jamaya hai… go qayaas ghalib hai keh talaffuz ke aitebar se ‘guthlee’ ‘ghutlee’ kee nisbat mustahsin hai…:)
Anybody who though creativity was dead would do well to pay a visit to the beautiful prose you etch out in your blog, and fortunately in the comments of this blog…:)
June 19th, 2006 at 12:23 am
Guthlee…ghutlee.. you say potato, I say potaato, what’s the difference
Good spot though - apologies for the error, and thank you for the wonderfully eloquent reply - main nai lughat ka order de dia hai, jab Feroz Sons walay bhijwain gai, jawab dai doun ga
Agar uss sai pahlay kahin se feroz-ul-lughat jami’a musta’ar mil gai toh aap ko mutla’ kar doun ga…
Qayaas-e-ghalib though is priceless, do I detect a hint of Mr Yusafi…? It was even better than the tale of woe that is the shikam-e-dushmanan..
June 20th, 2006 at 12:10 pm
Interesting post and a great read. Mangoes: my summer addiction. It is like smoking, I can go through a pack a day!
June 20th, 2006 at 10:12 pm
Hmm I see, well it could be a generic term as you said. Nothing better than pakistani ones, for sure. And that is not bias speaking
I love celtic music! I visited Ireland a few years back and boy did I feel “at home” there. I have lots more celtic music that I will probably put up on the blog later.
June 21st, 2006 at 2:29 pm
lol!its by Liz carroll- even i heard it at shaykhspeara’s & googled it & limewired it.along with a whole buncha irish folk.& just today, I saw some street performers,who i’d thot looked like vikings, without the horned headress,yes, i used to read alot of hagar the horrible, not much asterix,anyway, they were french & were playing 12th-13th century music, didnt know they had such foot tapping music back then.
June 23rd, 2006 at 10:36 am
Bhaijan, you have now made me to offically miss apples.
And yes, I am missing them so much that I am near death. Death by mangoes!
Well, at least, death by talking about mangoes and as a result making me miss apples, which in turn brings me near death. (And if you think that that’s quite a route to death, then you can remember unnatural shairi, which kills the parvanah just because a bee entered the garden.)
But anyway, I am just blabbering. Side-effect of not having any apples, you see. Though I am trying to compensate for it by eating as many sindhrris as I can. They make good milkshakes too. And yes, I admit, an apple milkshake is completely useless when compared with a mango milkshake…
Guess I am not that dead, yet.
June 29th, 2006 at 9:32 pm
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaammmm. just have mango lassi. im stuffed. phutnay wali hun. lol.
finally a post i can comment on without feeling stupid and lost
July 2nd, 2006 at 11:15 am
lol yea man we all love mangoes dont we :D, it seems like mujhe Dubai ana hoga to get Pakistan aam, here in Al-Ain its only carrfour :(.
July 2nd, 2006 at 8:15 pm
Moderate Enlightenment: Lughat kee bhi aik hee rahee. Aam faham main apke is jawab ko pind churana kehte hain…
Bar’ha Jalali Baba kee naqidana-o-ghair-alimana jirah se main ne bhi yahee uzr paish kar ke pind churaya hai. Hasha-o-kalla, main khud ko unki humsari kaa ahal, ya aap kee roohani berahrawi kaa mumkina moojeb nahin girdanta; mujhe yaqen hai ke awwal-u-zzikr meri bisaat se balatar, jabke thani-u-zzikr aapki zurooriyat se kamtar hai…Wallahu Aa’lam…
A hint of Mr. Yousufi…itni to khushamad bhi jaiz nahin!
July 2nd, 2006 at 8:20 pm
Olive Ream: With that one simile, if it is indeed a simile, and if simile is indeed spelled s-i-m-i-l-e, you have put years and years of hard-work gone into staying away from smoking into jeopardy…
For the rest of my life, through-out the melancholy non-mango season, I am going to have to remind myself constantly that Marlboro is not in fact Anwar Ratol, and Gold Leaf is everything but Chaunsa!
Why, Oh, Why did you have to do that?
Thanks for the comment, do keep visiting… its flattering when someone with a blog that brilliant leaves a comment on mine…:)
July 2nd, 2006 at 8:27 pm
Shaykhspeara: You reminded me of this very ordinary movie I had seen sometime ago, one called ‘Boots’ I think..and I had gone crazy watching it over and over…’cuz it had Celtic Music, and Tap dancing!!! Gets little better than that in my Music world… KHATTAK anyday! That might just be prejudice talking, but it is a prejudice I intend to nurture!
Looking forward to when you put up more of that stuff…:)
Saeed: Did you know Asterix was French? I did…and I read lots of it… more than I did Hagar…I used to love it when they used to trash Romans…I love it when anyone trashes any self-assuming, nation invading superpower! Thats what I love about history most…every superpower runs into its Asterix!
July 2nd, 2006 at 8:44 pm
Chotey Bhai: What sacrilege, what blasphemy is this…??? You COMPENSATE for not eating apples by eating Sindhrris - MANGOES!!!
Do you have any idea what kind of penalty this act carries in fruitland…? You could be sentenced to one year rigorous fruit picking in a bird infested orchard with nothing but taste-less supermarket fruit for food…!
And you go on and dare to compare ANY milkshake with a Mango milkshake? Even if you agree on the shotcoings of an apple milkshake, you ought to know, that comparison in itself is way out of line….I hope the mangoes can forgive your childish transgression. They are a vindictive lot these mangoes…
Baptized Lucyyyyy! How long since you ever visited this place, you whacky you!
And hey! sned those mangoes over if you can’t do justice to them!
Saeed: You poor thing. Whatever happened to the Buraimi fruit market? One used to be able to buy mangoes aplenty there! Carrefour is not doing a great job retailing The Mangoes…our mangoes!
No Pakistani should b confined to the carrefour definition of variety when it comes to Mangoes!
Come over bro..before it is too late and I have eaten up all of them magoes!