Cricket – Stats and Comments.
knicq posted in Cricket, Knicqisms on April 4th, 2006
“He’s scored a century everytime he has gone past 99″.
“This is the tenth time, in his tenth year of playing International cricket, when he has got out for a score of more or less than 10; and he has done it playing against the team ranked 10th in ICC ratings. The batsman to follow him comes at number 10. Its a new world record.”
“He is only the fourth no.5 batsman in the history of cricket, to be given out LBW at 11:57 a.m. in a match that started after a delay of one hour”
“No need to run for that one; he’s bowled out”.
“He has hit a six and a four on consecutive balls. This is the fastest way to score ten runs in two balls”.
Short on time. Can you think up of any?
April 4th, 2006 at 4:01 pm
Are you Arun Lal in disguise?
April 4th, 2006 at 4:48 pm
Of all the people, why Arun Lal? Why Maranello, why? He is the one commentator, I would pay NOT to be subjected to!
But if he were talking about an Indian batsman and he could actually make the first statement or the last statement!
It does not get any more biased and prejudiced than him, does it?
April 4th, 2006 at 5:26 pm
It does not get any more biased and prejudiced than him, does it?
Indeed it does not. Or for that matter, more ignorant and ill-informed!
The only reason I suggested him was that the first (and the last) sentences sound exactly like the kind of inane and daft comments he would make!
Honest – that was the only reason… and not because his beard looks like yours
Give me good ole Hasan Jalil anyday…
April 4th, 2006 at 5:27 pm
But great stuff from Asif, hain na? Is he the new McGrath or what?!
April 4th, 2006 at 5:46 pm
He sure is, and what a delight he is to watch. How does one with the innocent face of a child get to be such a great fast bowler.
…apparently, the team enjoyed his bowling so much, they go tthrough the motions of their innings as quickly as the Sri-Lankan bowlers would allow them, just so they could watch Asif in action again….
What with badey Bhai not playing these days?
…and couldn’t someone con Younis Khan into thinking Sri Lanka was somewhere in India!
Oh, and I resent that attack on my perfectly non-Arun Lalish beard!
April 5th, 2006 at 6:25 pm
Forgive me for being a cricket n00b, but who is Arun Lal?
Asif rocks, by the way. Big time.
And forgive me, again, for not coming up with anything original, but an excerpt from some Hindi commentary once narrated to me by my elder bro (who happens to be a cricket geek):
“Hindustani team ki haalat bilkul usi mareez ki tarah hai, jisay chahiyay hon parathay, magar mil rahi hon chapatiyan…”
April 5th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
How about some Siddhu classics:
Wickets are like wives – you never know which way they will turn!
That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.
There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an incoming train which will run them over.
PS: not that I approve of his sexist remarks, or share his neo-fascist, extremist politics…!
April 5th, 2006 at 10:12 pm
Saadat: Good to hear from you chotey bhai. Where ya at?
Thats a hilarious bit of quote and it is so Zee news in its deliberate messing around with the syntax of a sentence…and while on the subject, has anyone seen that DISGUSTING news program that Geo has on these days, where they try and ape this deliberate massacring of perfectly good Urdu sentences which borders on sacrilege. “Aur khabron main ab daikhen ge aik nai cheez, jis main batain ge aap ko haalat aaj ke, aur dikhain ge aap ko jo hota raha sadkon pe shehar kee….” I have twice been restrained by people with more tolerant disposition from jumping into the television set and strangling those MORONS….AAAAAARRRGHHH!!!
I mean seriously, what is wrong with these morons? Hindi has its own way of panditai expression, why must perfectly good Urdu be subjected to that lab-o-lehja? The beauty and grace of Urdu is unmatched in sub-continent..why must our people always throw away perfectly great things and opt for average or worse sub-standard?
This rant aside, Maranello, if there were three bad commentators around in the WHOLE WORLD, it would have to be Arun Lal, Sidhu, and our own Waqar Younis… and you choose to quote two out of them! My guess is you miss out on Younis because despite yourself, you can’t bring yourself to even quote that horrendous language…and lets face it, Younis himself is seldom ridiculous…his language and accent almost always are.
What is wrong with the people who employ these commentators, I mean, how can you even think of Arun Lal when you have heart-winners like Sanjay Manjrekar and Shiva? What is Arun lal’s qualification by the way? Does anyone even remember having seen him in the Indian team? Sidhu despite his stupidity was an excellent batsman, and Manjrekar has enough match saving innings to his credit to earn anyone’s admiration, not to mention his natural knack for commentating, a trait equally present in Shiva; buy Arun Lal?
Last I checked his stats did not read more than a handful of matches. He is obviously not qualified because of his ‘extensive’ experience, and there does seem to be quite a bit consensus about the lack of any other talent in him. one wonders…doesn’t one?
Sidhu’s Metaphors and Similes are now legend in the world of ridiculous…and the best part is he speaks only in similes and metaphors.
April 6th, 2006 at 9:06 am
You live Shiva? I think he is as bad as Arun Lala or Siddhu.
You are right about Waqar of course – “axcillant” choice (in my best fake-Australian accent, a la Waqar) – but what about Aamir Sohail? Not only is he generally ill-informed and rash in reaching the wrong conclusion, he is often very biased for his favourite (and useless) players (eg M. Hafeez) and against any Pakistani player who is any good.
April 6th, 2006 at 9:09 am
Sorry, that was whether you liKe Shiva. Poor typo. Happens when one starts looking at blogs before 9am!!
Just thought I’d clarify… the first version could have all sorts of unwelcome connotations!
April 11th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
lol nice post bhai
, yea u missed Amir Sohail seriously I think he uses “then” atleast 5 times in a single sentense and then and then and then 
. But even Miandad and Wasim bhai have issues too. Sidhu quotes were good 
but what bias person I remember how much symcox used to enjoy when Pakistan wud beat India 
.