Linguistic broodings…
knicq posted in Knicqisms on March 13th, 2006
I stare at the keyboard, my fingers poised to spring into action at the merest hint of a thought surfacing, a sentence forming, or a word appearing in the wilderness that is my mind these days; but nothng happens. I type a few disjointed lines, hoping to latch onto a stray idea for impetus, but delete them after I realize that any ideas unfortunate enough to be found straying in the vicinity of my brain’s activity, or lack of it thereof, are inadequate when it comes to providing impetus to a stagnant thought process.
Sure, there are issues all around me that I have an opinion about, and perhaps I would do well to build a post around all or one of them, but of late the extent of my own ignorance has dawned upon me, and I have realized that I am far too ignorant about everything to hold a public opinion about anything. Jalali Baba, bless him, and AP have taken it upon themselves to shield me from the consequences and repercussions of my ignorance. Subhan Allah for such amazingly wonderful friends. Between the two of them they know more about everything I had hitherto claimed knowledge or understanding of, and are better at everything I had fancied myself good at. It is like having Felicity around, split into two.
A kindred soul travelled to the land of the pure, and on her way back brought me a few books in Urdu. It has been long since I read a book in Urdu, and longer since I read anything in Urdu not written by Yousufi; and I had forgotten just how intoxicating the experience of reading can become when undertaken in one’s own language. There is none of that ploughing through, and laborious reading and still more laborious re-reading of passages to achieve partial understanding of the passage matter, and above all that consigning of words, dozens per page, to memory to look up afterwards – the looking up afterwards stage inevitably not ensuing anytime soon, which is characteristic of my reading a non-Urdu book.
The term “non-Urdu book” is employed with an express intention of implying that yours truly is blessed with a most exceptional linguistic talent, and when so desires can pick up a book translated into 163 languages in the original, and subsequently in any of those translations, and not only thoroughly appreciate the nuances of the translators’ brilliance, but also undertake to forward a critique, of the book or the translation as the case may be, in any of the languages in which the book has not yet been translated into, thereby not only doing a great service to the readers of the latter language in broadening their globalistic perspective, but also providing the translators of that language a most practical excuse to translate the book in language number 164. Such an impression, if succesfully conveyed, would not be altogether false, but one could scarcely fnd fault with a professional finger-pointer for publically pointing, or at least privately wagging, a finger at yours truly for stretching the truth beyond repair.
Crux of the matter, however, is that reading a book in Urdu has an ecstacy about it unrivalled and unmatched in the humble experience that is my reading life. This despite the fact that two out of those books were depressing to the choti ye, which is the last urdu letter in the urdu word for depression; and the third book while tackled the subject of Ishq-e-Haqiqi, did so in terms not entirely convincing for a self professed ‘Wahabi’ like me.
There was a fourth book by that great humorist, who set forth a tradition amongst the servicemen of Pakistan Army of humorous writing, Col. Mohammad Khan. It is called ‘Bidesi mizaah’ meaning foreign humor, and is comprised of translations of various English humorists, since for the simple minded lot of the ex-British colony the terms foreign, gora (white man), and English are interchangeable, and any of these can be employed to define a national of the Americas – North or South, or one hailing from the continents of Europe, or Australia. It is a general assumption that all goras speak English, and by that token all those who speak English are goras. Trivia, like the fact that outside of her majesty’s kingdom few Europeans, and in the Americas even fewer South Americans are likely to understand much English, or the more colorful fact that quite a few English speakers in the USA or UK could be anything but gora, are treated just like that – Trivia!
I read a few lines of the book, and put it aside, I have much too high a regard for the genius of Col. Mohammad Khan to read his translations of Wodehouse masterpeices. The content of humoristic mastepeices can perhaps be translated, and in case of lesser geniuses perhaps the humor too, but it is my firm conviction that the translating genious required to present the Wodehouse books in all their brilliance to the Urdu reader, or the Yousufi books in all their glory to the English reader is a rarity which will only surface when having an exceptional command over English and Urdu will not be mutually exclusive.
Unfortunately, for as long as Pakistani parents continue to seek, as they must for the well being of their children, educational institutes that make little Englishmen and ladies out of their children, who speak Urdu in much the same accent as the erstwhile colonial masters, the cause of Urdu cannot be helped, and for as long as Urdu continues to be undermined by its own people, the cause of its people cannot be helped.
This monologue has tread perilously close to a discussion, which AWK and Maranello had initiated in the comments section of Ad. woes, and much as I wish to dive into that discussion with my take on it, I must terminate this post here, and leave in the process a topic to come back to…
March 14th, 2006 at 9:15 am
kninqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqqq bhaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii !!!
itneeee interesting baatain..aur itnee saree hoi muskil ungrezi main.
With all due respect, I always find your urdu comments extremely hilarious and “shagufta” but thats not the case when you write in “bideshi language”. Its fun but un-shagufta?
why is that?
p-s : aur ager koi gustakhi ki ho, to paishgee maafi ki derkhawast.
March 14th, 2006 at 10:53 am
What is this morbid fascination you have with such a lifeless idea? You have clearly misunderstood the spirit of the book by Col M. Khan, which raises the spectre of what you are really trying to achieve with this posting, and causes me to wonder if you have a ghost of a chance of reaching the heavenly position you onc occupied in the blogosphere. I am mortified that you have made such a grave error resulting in what will most surely be the death of this blog, and you will have to embalm yourself in another hobby to resurrect your soul.
March 14th, 2006 at 10:59 am
JB: So thats what you been doing since 8:00 am, eh?
Ayesha: The thing with Urdu is there is no MS word offering synonyms all the way…:)
Gustakhi? Kaisi gustakhi. Ye koi JB ka blog thode hee hai, jis pe blog karna ya comment karna gustakhi ke zumre main aye?
March 14th, 2006 at 12:13 pm
haha-
Now I HAVE to comment at JB’s blog
March 14th, 2006 at 6:12 pm
Knicq – apologies for barging in, but a comment from a previous poster just about comes into the zumra of gustakhi – I am referring, of course, to the use of “bideshi” when a normal Urdu bidesi would have been far more apt and a hundred times more shagufta.
Sure, this sacrilege against our qaumi zaban is not quite in the league of “shareer bhasha”, but in my very humble view, is nonetheless the first step down a very slippery slope…
PS: With all due apologies to the previous poster, whose comment I have so rudely dissected….
March 14th, 2006 at 6:15 pm
aur agar Urdu kay synonyms nahi miltay to aik adad feroz-ul-lughaat musta’ar le lijiye…
March 14th, 2006 at 6:59 pm
Maranello bhai,
Bidesi ka bideshi hona go ke Tab’-e-Urdu pe bar-e-giran guzra to hoga, magar qayaas ghalib hai ke is laghzish ko khud bee Urdu ne bhi gustakhi ke zumre main nahin daala ho ga…Hindi main Urdu kee see nifasat aur rakh rakhao nan sahee, kuch Urdu ka shaiba to hai hee, aur kiyun na ho, bee Hindi ne to apna ghar banane main na sirf yeh keh Urdu se katheer tadaad main asaasa musta’ar liya, balkeh betakallufi main kuch hadd-e-faasil paar karte huwe khud Urdu hee kee jaageer par apne naam ka takhta aawezan kar diya hai…
is main kuch qusoor bee Urdu ka hai to zuroor…bhe’i akhir aisee bhi kya murawwat, aur aisi bhi kiya ghareeb parwari, ke rah chalton ko rehan sehan to sikhaya so sikhaya, unhen sehan hee main ghusaa liya.
Khair yeh to jumla motariza hasb-e-aadat tool pakad gaya. to arz yeh hai, gar gahe b’gahe, sehwan agar koi aisa lafz ahl-e-Urdu istimal kar baithen jis ka baatin to Urdu ka hee ho, magar libada hindi ka to aisa kuch harj nahin…itna to apne alfaaz par Urdu ka haq ab bhi hai…libadey ka kiya hai…bideshi ke mathey se ‘h’ kee bindiya hatana kia mushkil hai?
March 14th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
rahee baat lughat kee, to arz hai feroz-ullughat ke do adad nuskhajaat fidwi ke kitabon kee almari main gard chata karte hain…magar us fitri susti ka kia tiryaaq karen jo mian computer se us almari tak jane wale rastey main hail hai…
Yahee wajah hai ke khadim ne bataur-e-khaas MS word kee illat ka tazkara kiya tha…ab aisee koi sohoolat JB jaisey computerz’da ahl-e-zubaan mohayya farmain to jaanen!
waisey ahl-e-zubaan kee bhi aik hee rahee…Urdu ke alambardaron kee khud pasandi ka alam to mulahiza ho ke ahl-e-zubaan se muraad Urdu hee ke chashm-o-chiragh hain…doosri zubanon main to goya aisee ahliyyat hee nahin keh woh bhi sahib-e-ahl thehren, ya phir ye keh doosri koi zubaan hee nahin…
Qurban jaen is khud e’timaadi ke…
March 17th, 2006 at 7:25 pm
knicq bhai, did your comment on my site mean that you now have a rookie and want to know how to train him but not so much so as to lose him? err… I wouldn’t know.. the idea of training a rookie is to help him ramp up to speed of the rest of the team, nah? not to ramp up but only to a certain level.
i didn’t realize you were a trainer, btw.. are you?
March 18th, 2006 at 2:59 pm
The operative word, Anjum, in my comment was “wannabe…”.
They conducted an exercise in our office once asking us what we would do different were we made managers of our teams….my radical ideas were deemed just those …radical!
They said the kind of training I wished to impart to my team, if ever they gave me one, would be disastrous for the well-being of ‘rookies’…one wonders what could be disastrous about two-hour work days, in a 3 day work-week. They have to have their lives, don’t they? …those poor chaps!
My focus is not so much on ramping up one to the rest of the team, but to slow down the team to the speed of the most leisurely paced one….an idea I picked from this wonderful book called “Goal”. If then, there were a risk of targets not being met, the obvious course was to bring the targets in line with the capabilities of the team…!
They said such policies would douse the fire in those bellies, and apart from the adverse effects on the bottomline, they would seriously compromise the long-term well-being of those team members…and to think that the whole idea centers on the general well-being of the team members….!
Me lose a rookie…? Not if the HR guys can help it, since they won’t let me HAVE a rookie! I have been deemed unfit to have any influence on any rookies…actually, even the new trainers/managers are also advised to maintain safe distance from me and my radical ideas for the first few years which are deemed ‘impressionable’.
There was actually a rik of me losing my own trainer, the exalted Jalali Baba…but then better sense prevailed, and Jalali Baba decided in favor of obliging his lone rookie for as long as it took to ensure his well-being. Under his tutelege, one hopes to one day become a first class trainer…:)
March 21st, 2006 at 5:02 am
*waves excitedly* i hear there is great news in your neck of the woods these days. eat some mithai for me!
March 21st, 2006 at 8:40 am
*Lifts face from mithai tokra, waves back excitedly*
Great news in UAE Baji…do you mean you are not going to be coming down here to celebrate???
Two kilos some enough?
*Burries face in tokra again*
March 21st, 2006 at 1:31 pm
I’m curious… what’s the great news?
Waise, it’s been a while since you’ve written something that got me so riled up that i felt I absolutely had to respond to that with 8 pages (double-sided) of opinion and ranting. What’s wrong? I mean, Hamas gets elected in Palestine, Milosovic – the man responsible for genocide in Bosnia – dies, Dick Cheney shot someone, and then the whole cartoon controversy, Bush’s visit to India and Pakistan… nothing… absolutely nothing makes you want to spit out an “enh” of sentiment on paper or er.. em … computer???
What have you been eating, or not been eating lately that’s respnsible for this?
March 21st, 2006 at 1:33 pm
oh, and thanks for the birthday wish. Again, though, where’s the tirade of knicq opinion I was waiting for?
March 22nd, 2006 at 11:47 am
Felicity: So, you have not actually taken up a blog rahbaniyyat…good to know.
About the good news first, the blog celeb. couple Abez and HPN, dear dear friends of ours, have been blessed with a beautiful baby Masha Allah…may Allah shower His blessings on Khalid bin Waleed and all his family. Ameen.
You make me nostalgic with that talk of eight page emails in ‘your font’ going to and fro with half the world in copy about all those topics that were not helped/not helped a bit by our rantings…:)
You bet, I have loads to say, but of late like I said in this post, my own ignorance has dawned upon me….and with that the courage to air my views has taken a back seat….
…as for that tirade of knicq opinion part, I have become smart now…I don’t fall in that trap, where you send a poking mail, I respond all guns firing, and you nuke me to oblivion…Hah!