Not an apology.6
knicq posted in Knicqisms on February 27th, 2006
Jalali Baba had once remarked that quite frequently my posts are little more than contorted apologies for not having updated in a long time. The inevitable deduction was that I do not update on purpose so that I can put up these apologies as excuses for updates. It was an allegation I should have resented, which I think I duly did too. Increasingly, however, that false accusation is proving a self-fulfilling prophecy, and I, therefore, hold Jalali Baba responsible for the current dismal record of updates on this blog, and the ensuing apologies made necessary by that dismal record. I am not one to sit in a corner and sulk though, which is why I am not going to let this update become an apology. There are topics aplenty to tackle, and I would do well to dwell on those, however for the record, had it not been for my resolve to undo the JBiic curse, this update would in fact have been an apology.
Just in case, you are not one of the handful benefactors of this place, who continue to visit here, and subject themselves to my gibberish out of the goodness of their hearts, and despite the best council of their therapists to the contrary, and are hence wondering why I am so particular about the apology part, allow me to elaborate. www.knicq.com is a vile place, nothing of consequence ever occurs here, unless of course you take into account the comments the blog visitors leave behind. I am a narcissist, one who often gets the spelling of the word narcissist wrong, but is loathe to admitting it ought to be spelled any different. My narcissism is the lone motivation behind this place staying active, but for the life of me I cannot understand what masochistic motives keep bringing those people back for more. Jalali Baba offers a simplistic explanation. He is of the opinion that these people are on a conquest of self, and their conquest requires them to maintain a saintly conduct with the spiritually under-priveleged. It might just be the narcissism, but I am proud of my contribution to the spiritual well-being of these people, and when one happens to be the cog in so many spiritual wheels, an apology is the least one can tender when one has not offered any spiritual challenges by way of updates to such exalted souls.
This, dear friends, is thus not an apology, but an update…bordering on an apology.